Thursday, September 5, 2019

A Brief Post On Not Attempting To Be A Role Model

There are some amazing role models in this profession: people who have overcome their mental health issues and come through on the other side with successful careers. In addition to being able to share what they have accomplished, they may also have inspiring tales of the support they received along the way. I can't possibly overstate how grateful I am to those role models, but here's the thing: despite being somewhat senior-ish (in my 15th year of call), I can't be one of them and don't even really aspire to be.

First, to be quite honest, it's not currently clear to me if I will come through this with my career intact. I hope and believe so, but there are plenty of days when that hopefulness fails me. Second, even if I do come through it, I won't be able to say that it couldn't have been otherwise. It has been rough. Even if it ends well for me, I'm not prepared to tell others that there is nothing to worry about or that our profession handles these issues well. While there have been some very kind people who have reached out to me (which has meant a great deal to me), for the most part I have been very disheartened by what I've experienced and I'm not prepared to be dishonest about that. Third, while I value those successful role models, I think something else is needed too. We need all tales of mental health struggles, not just the successful ones. The dialogue on this issue needs to include all voices, even the ones we might be inclined to wish didn't exist.

In my view, as I've written before (here), the problem with selecting only the exemplary stories that inspire and encourage others is that it lets the profession off the hook and gives us a distorted understanding of how we're doing in addressing these issues. Those stories are important but we need to hear from everyone if we're going to learn to do better. Also there is the concern about invalidating the experiences of those who feel unsupported and are left to wonder "why am I having such a hard time of this when everyone else seems to have such a positive tale?" (as I wrote about here). Further, there is the potential harm of encouraging people to reach out when the supports they need aren't actually in place (which I wrote about here).

If I aspire to be a role model at anything it’s not for any success I may someday have within the profession, but rather the simple act of speaking up and saying not good enough: the act of calling on the profession itself to do better, rather than calling upon those who struggle to do it all ("to overcome"). Better yet, rather than a role model, I'd be more content with being a validating presence, someone who has been through it (and is currently going through it) and can tell people they're not alone and it's not their fault even when it truly objectively sucks.

This distinction is important for me because I don't see myself as speaking up only for people who happen to already be in the profession and capable of succeeding within the existing culture, but also for those who are struggling too much to even think about it, but might wish to be if only the environment were more hospitable. So in my view, it isn't enough to inspire and encourage. We need to make space for a different more inclusive way of doing things, and be ready to have some difficult conversations. This means facing up to the stories that aren't successful and asking what we need to do better. To be genuinely inclusive, we need to ask those who can't so easily rise up and overcome within our existing professional culture how we can help them heal so they can also become successful. Once we do that, I will more than happily share my success story and be even more excited to hear the success stories of those who are thriving who might not have had a chance to before.....

A caveat added a few hours later: I worry that maybe the above might seem as if I'm suggesting that I lack faith that those who suffer mental health issues can overcome their issues and make excellent contributions to the profession (and share the inspirational tale afterwards). This couldn't be further from the case. In fact, I think we often underestimate the potential we have to do so (so many struggle with these issues and in fact are great lawyers). I'm saying those tales of overcoming aren't the focus for me because I want to instead take aim at the professional culture that unfortunately makes it harder than it should be.

My view is that a traumatic past or a mental health issue does NOT prevent someone from being an excellent lawyer as I explained here in one of the blog posts that is most important to me: https://traumaandlawyersmentalhealth.blogspot.com/2019/07/professionally-mandated-healing.html

As always, please note that I am a lawyer, not a mental health professional of any kind. I have no expertise in trauma or mental health. Also, please note that any opinions and views expressed in this blog are solely my own and are not intended to represent the views or opinions of my employer in any way. For more information about the purpose of this blog, please see here and for a bit more information about my personal perspective on this issue, please see "my story" here

I am very grateful to have received a "Clawbie" Award for this blog (which reflects the importance of this topic): https://www.clawbies.ca/2019-clawbies-canadian-law-blog-awards/

For some of my external writing on this topic, see:  
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