Everything Is Complicated

Writing about mental health, trauma, and the related/intersecting objectives of diversity, equality and inclusion is complicated and sometimes I'm afraid that I'm doing it all wrong.

We are all so unique and these issues affect people differently. People can passionately disagree even on basic points and terminology. It's incredibly difficult to do it in a way that doesn't risk excluding some perspectives, and maybe even causing harm.

Sometimes I just want to stop talking about this stuff altogether for fear that my voice isn't the one people need. That I'm leaving something important out.

I'm certainly not the only voice on this issue but my view remains that it's not discussed enough considering its prevalence. So the fact that my voice is insufficient is perhaps a reason to stop talking, or maybe it's a reason to keep going until more people feel comfortable joining the conversation.

After all, the stigma can be so great on these issues that many people don't feel comfortable speaking about them at all, even though they are deeply affected. The more of us speak up (especially those of us with some measure of seniority and privilege that enables us to feel somewhat safe in doing so) the more we can hold space for others to enter the discussion and protect their right to also be able to share their views and stories safely and comfortably.

I don't think I should stop speaking, but I need to be constantly aware of my limitations in doing so. It's a little easier said than done: I'm a lawyer which means I am accustomed to expressing my views quite strongly. I'm also a wee bit passionate and opinionated sometimes, which is amplified by how important this issue is to me.  So while I try to acknowledge the complexity and nuance whenever I can and consider perspectives other than my own, I'm inevitably going to fail to do so perfectly. This is good because the knowledge of my inevitable failure will keep me constantly motivated to seek out and listen to other voices.

Let's all keep speaking on these important topics if we feel able to do so, but let's acknowledge that because these issues have been in the dark for so long, the complexity of it can be easy to miss so we have to be extra-cautious. It's like a puzzle with tons of pieces missing because so many who have experienced trauma and/or mental health issues (especially in combination with sexism, racism, etc.) have been kept silent for far too long. Therefore, every time we add a new piece, we should attend to it very carefully and value what it adds to the picture, but also ask ourselves about and keep our eyes open for the many still missing pieces.

So that's all I am and I know it: one little piece. I also try to incorporate what I think I see in other pieces that happen to be visible to me, and I also try to imagine based on what I do see what might be missing, but I know my vision of this is inevitably flawed and incomplete.

The best approach in my view?: every time we raise awareness about something, let's pause and say "but, of course, it's complicated." Then let's stop and wonder about/listen for other voices (missing pieces).

For just a few examples of the ways in which some issues can be complicated as far as I am able to see (which I've already written about):

• We want to comfort people and make them feel that everything will be okay if they reach out, but we don't want to invalidate the bad experiences people may have (which I wrote about here and here) or encourage them to reach out only to discover that the support they need is not actually available (which I wrote about here). 
• We want to try to send a positive message and applaud measures that are already being taken, but not at the expense of letting the profession be overly self-congratulatory, resulting in a failure to address the ways in which we are falling short (which I wrote about here).
• We want to learn from the positive stories of those who have overcome their mental health struggles but also ensure we don't end up with a skewed narrative if the less positive tales aren't also attended to (which I wrote about here).
• We want to reduce stigma for some mental health conditions but the way in which we do so can sometimes draw on and enhance stigma for others (as I wrote about here).
•  We want to make it okay for people to express vulnerability and not feel the need to always be "tough"but we also don't want to lose sight of the strength involved in acknowledging and expressing vulnerability and disavowing a one-sided view of what it means to be "tough" (which I wrote about here and here),
• On the one hand we want to encourage people to take steps to improve their health; on the other hand, we don't want to send a discriminatory health-shaming message (which I wrote about here): 
• We want to encourage people to feel free to speak up and share their experiences, but we need to be cautious not to press those who may have very valid reasons for being unable to do so, and we shouldn't assume that silence on an issue means it doesn't exist: (which I wrote about here, here, and here)
• With respect to trauma in particular, we need to acknowledge how severely it can affect people, but without erasing the tales of resilience and strength as well as the ways in which  it can manifest less visibly for some people (which I wrote about here). 
• With respect to measures we might take, we want people who suffer to feel seen and respected, but don't want to undermine their autonomy (which I addressed to some extent in my defence of the concept of trigger warnings here).

There are also issues I haven't written about because they are outside the scope of this blog. Just as an example that has gotten under my skin a bit lately, I see posts about medication, some of which urge people to avoid it ("medication is bad--avoid it!") , some of which urge people to take it ("medication is great--take it!"). I'm no doctor but personally I think either message is potentially harmful. Different mental health conditions and different circumstances may call for different treatments and human beings are entitled to some autonomy in making informed decisions about their care (e.g., to try medication or therapy, either alone or in combination), hopefully with the support of professionals who have expertise about their particular condition and knowledge of their actual needs. Not all conditions will be responsive to the same treatments and, in my view, we need to stop making blanket statements that can be harmful to some in the name of helping others (which isn't to say we can't discuss it and dispel potentially harmful myths but we need to be mindful of our own limits in how we do so).

In any event, I'm going to keep speaking. The limits are that I can't speak for everyone (not even close) and I can't even fully speak for myself since I can't even come close to sharing the core of my own history and perspective (I told my own story to some extent here in a relatively vague way, with links added later to other instances in which I've revealed a bit more, but I've always been clear that my ability and willingness to share my own story is subject to very significant limits).

So there we have it. Everything is impossibly complicated, which is all the more reason to speak as much as possible about it in our imperfect ways. The more voices the better.

As always, please note that I am a lawyer, not a mental health professional of any kind. I have no expertise in trauma or mental health. Also, please note that any opinions and views expressed in this blog are solely my own and are not intended to represent the views or opinions of my employer in any way. For more information about the purpose of this blog, please see here and for a bit more information about my personal perspective on this issue, please see "my story" here

I am very grateful to have received a "Clawbie" Award for this blog (which reflects the importance of this topic): https://www.clawbies.ca/2019-clawbies-canadian-law-blog-awards/

For some of my external writing on this topic, see:  

• https://www.canadianlawyermag.com/news/opinion/a-more-inclusive-discussion-on-the-impact-of-trauma-on-lawyers-mental-health-is-needed/276166 
• https://www.cbabc.org/BarTalk/Articles/2020/February/Features/Speaking-Up-About-Trauma-and-Mental-Health    
• https://www.canadianlawyermag.com/news/opinion/changing-the-conversation/326240